Ok, it was as simple as using raspi-config to boot to terminal (CLI) instead of desktop (GUI). I'm new to RPi so this was probably obvious to all.
BTW, fun fact, the desktop uses about 600 KB RAM at 1280x900. That leaves me with about 960 KB free which I hope is sufficient.
Bonus side effect was switching to CLI and back seems to have resolved my system instability. So I am happy.
@sebkritikel Awesome news! Thank you.
OK, I may have inadvertently resolved it.
I found how to remove the desktop and boot to terminal using raspi-config. I wanted to understand the RAM cost. I have an RPi4b with 2GB RAM.
FYI:
in terminal mode after boot I have 1.5 GB free.
In desktop gui with DWC running at 1280x900 I have 960 KB free.
Anyway, after switching back to GUI mode everything boots as expected and DWC starts. So I suspect my config was whacked somehow (I touched nothing!) and running the rasp-config corrected the situation.
Sorry for all the bother.
third try was the charm. working now. sorry for the noise
Well that was quick. I found if I right click there is a reload menu which caused it to come alive. All works great now! Hope this helps someone else.
@jay_s_uk Thanks for clearing that up. Too bad because the Pi antenna is poop. But at least I can simplify things.