@infiniteloop Thanks for all of your suggestions and encouragement! I fixed the wiring and loaded up my spool of PETG, made the slicer print everything at 30mm/s and got this:
This looks much better to me. One side had a small section where the layers didn't bond very well, but overall it makes me happy! I didn't even calibrate the extruder! It needs some tuning still but at least its consistent! I need to find some better PLA. I'll probably throw what I have in the vacuum oven for a bit, but I think its probably a lost cause.